rhodochrosite | 無我の境地: CHARACTER SONG LYRIC TINHATTERYの極み

once when i was in year 7 i finished a maths exam like an hour early so i wrote out a line by line analysis on my working out paper of how losing your memory - ryan star related to hit exo fic anterograde tomorrow by lj user changdictator. this is that but slightly less delusional because the songs in question really are about what i’m saying they’re about, but i am also definitely looking at this through ship goggles so ymmv. tinhatting to lyrics it’s fun free and easy! tenipuri duets are OUT tenipuri solo songs that are just short of explicitly about the other half of my ship are IN

anyway it’s pretty great that my tennis otp have songs about each other!! these are both about the CHILD OF GOD VS EMPEROR friendly fire match at u17 and reflecting on the changes in their relationship since they met/fell in love at age four to now, through the ordeal of yukimura’s illness and through their defeat at nationals. both songs are like “i won’t hold back even though it’s you—no, because it’s you” but the thing that kills me the most is that yukimura’s perspective is like wistfully letting go of sanada and encouraging him to cure himself of his henchman disease while sanada’s perspective is doggedly clinging on to the dream he and yukimura built together and giving the entirety of himself over to it…

the real tragedy of sanayuki is that they assume they know each other really well and for the most part it’s fine because the pressure of yukimura’s will is immense and sanada is more than willing to bow to it usually but they’re fundamentally mistaken about some extremely important things, like what the other person is willing to do for victory, and that keeps breaking their hearts when it comes up as a point of friction between them. and also because of this assumption they like… never talk… or they talk but they aren’t communicating properly even though they think they are. rt ciel: mismatched everything 😥 it’s okay though because i truly do believe they’re in love and they’ll figure it out eventually

for yourself - yukimura seiichi

You go further away

idk how to express how much ‘you go further away’ completely bowled me over as an opening line the first time i heard this song… sanada has always been so steadfastly devoted to staying by yukimura’s side that yukimura’s recognition of sanada’s ever-widening field of vision that’s stretched to include eg ryoma/atobe/tezuka/later kintaro and akutsu is just so ::NAMELESS EMOTION::
it’s like sanada separating out his sense of identity from yukimura necessarily comes at the cost of moving away from yukimura and yukimura is… okay with that

We don't need things like restraint or forgiveness, right?

their long shared history means they’ve moved past the need for verbal articulation of their feelings about being forced to play e/o knowing the loser will have to leave u17 (OR DOES YUKIMURA ONLY THINK IT DOES? the ‘right?’ is really…)
re: ‘restraint’ - before their match sanada says “i won’t hold back, yukimura!” and yukimura replies “you’ve never held back, sanada.” just because they’re close doesn’t mean they’ll go easy on each other :’)
re: ‘forgiveness - the match is a zero sum game, victory comes at the cost of the other person’s right to stay at u17 but they ARE rikkai after all, it’s no barrier or at least should not be a barrier

It's been a while since the two of us faced each other like this

Come at me like you mean it, the earth growls at the thunderous roars

the implication that they don’t often verse each other even for practice is so interesting and backed up by urayama’s comments before the match about how shocked he is to see the captain and vice-captain playing against each other. it’s well known that yukimura is stronger than sanada so they obviously did play each other in a public match at some point, presumably around first year? if they really do avoid playing e/o i wonder why… i could see yukimura refusing because he knows it'll only end in yips (a process so psychologically scarring most of yukimura’s opponents literally drop out of tennis altogether) and he needs a functional vice-captain and he isn't willing to test sanada's willpower no matter how impressive it is against the trauma of yips repeatedly? i think sanada would be persistent about it though, the lack of matches against each other probably isn’t due to any reservation on sanada’s end
the other possible interpretation is that yukimura is just referring to the fact that he hasn’t faced ANYONE in nearly a year (except ryoma ofc) due to his hospitalisation, and urayama’s surprise comes from the fact that he’s a first year and wasn’t around back when yukimura and sanada were both actively participating in the club. so this is yukimura’s first post-recovery chance to test his skill against sanada’s again and resettle the club hierarchy
i also enjoy the alignment of sanada and yukimura with powerful forces of nature…

I'm gazing at a hot and straightforward spirit

the hot and straightforward spirit is ofc SANADA he really is very impassioned and direct… 精神/‘spirit’ also has furigana indicating it’s pronounced こころ/‘heart’ which makes me weirdly emotional? i guess like the shift from metaphysical, which is yukimura’s realm as the untouchable child of god, to the material, which is sanada’s (see: furinkainzanrai being based on nature, sanada’s taurean corporeality and immediacy of presence)

I know that strength and fragility better than anybody else

they’re childhood friends of course yukimura knows sanada the best. he knew sanada back when sanada was still a crybaby on main, he was there all through the development of sanada’s techniques… the overlap of familiarity and the evaluative assessment of a rival

You go further away

Exceed your limits and continue to challenge yourself

I won’t hesitate because I have such a friend

Because you were always there at fun times and painful times

I am now who I am

the I Won’t Hold Back, Because It’s You of it all!!!! sanada’s presence being the thing that allows yukimura to fight at full strength… and yukimura wanting sanada to keep improving and evolving his skills ;__;
yukimura straight up attributing the person he is to sanada’s unwavering support and influence ahhhhhhhhh in the anime he expresses his gratitude towards sanada a lot during the match but mostly in his head while he’s semi-unintentionally inflicting grievous psychological damage on sanada i do sort of wish he would say it for real but sanada seems to understand anyway
i think a lot about yukimura’s loneliness at the hospital and also in general 高处不胜寒. and how sanada was always there even if he couldn’t really cut through but maybe the fact of this one thing that never changed when even yukimura’s own body was turning against him was enough to draw comfort from

Suddenly the ball grazed my forehead and cut through the world

Something unknown over there is wearing a black aura and awakening

Did you crush even your despair?

I can't afford to be scared either, anymore

so in the match, yukimura is pretty much crushing sanada after sanada’s succumbed to yips/his yukimura complex fuelled nightmare hallucinations until sanada breaks out of yips via sheer willpower with his newly awakened but incomplete superpower 黒色のオーラ/’black aura’ (the title of sanada’s song!!!) and wins a point off yukimura with a return that slices off yukimura’s headband. these lyrics are pretty straightforwardly referring to that moment where sanada manages to overcome the terror of yips and briefly break through, to yukimura’s shock
sidenote since the only way to overcome yips is through tenimuho (and whatever the hell the inverse tenimuho self-acceptance thing yukimura used during tokugawa/yuki v volk/frankensteiner to escape yips himself was) i believe that black aura is a flawed form of tenimuho, i think that the Victory Above All indoctrination sanada’s internalised due to being by yukimura’s side for so long operates to bar him from being able to enjoy tennis for its own sake and thus reach true tenimuho, which he may have been able to unlock if not for yukimura. on the other hand, he wouldn’t have been able to even get to almost-tenimuho without yukimura either. if you asked sanada himself he would definitely not want to be a person who had never met yukimura, so… 🤷‍♀️
yukimura admitting to fear but compartmentalising it away because he has more important things to worry about (like VICTORY) is so 😣😣 the child of god is a real human boy after all… this tracks with his recent manga characterisation reveal as someone who is affected by emotions like fear but masks it with grace and poise to such masterful extent that it freaks out his opponent enough to accelerate their descent into yips, and also like. the violence of his desperation during the hospital flashbacks in yukimura v ryoma

You go further away

Surely our trust and struggles are mutual

We won't say it but we can feel it

again with the appeals to an unspoken certainty of belief that may or may not be misplaced… ‘surely’ ‘we won’t say it’ ARE you sure though? maybe you SHOULD say it. but it is true T__T the reciprocated trust the rikkai insularity the Us Against The World of it all

Let's witness the dream

that shines at the end of a hard battle

the dream of rikkai’s third consecutive championship fell through but they still have this match between them now and whatever might come after

The hot pain from that time that I felt on my cheek just once

is the proof that I'm alive

tbh i don’t really know what this is referring to… the only thing i can think of that could be applicable is like, maybe sanada hit yukimura for losing as is rikkai custom?? but i don’t remember this happening onscreen in anime or manga canon, maybe it was in a pairpuri or something, i do remember jackal complaining in a pairpuri that sanada hit him for losing but not yukimura? it would make sense with the ‘just once’ because yukimura has never lost an official match (or even a GAME) until he lost to ryoma at nationals so sanada would never have had to carry out physical discipline on yukimura before
in this context ‘proof that I’m alive’ does kill the man though like... yukimura did still overcome his illness he's still able to feel physical sensation even if it’s pain, it’s not the victory he wanted but it is a victory nonetheless

We go further away

WE!!!!!! not YOU

I will also keep searching for the ‘beyond’

I promise as I watch that back walking away

Let me set you free

That’s okay, from now on do everything for yourself

Advance living for yourself

this last chorus like completely destroys my ass… yukimura promising to also keep moving forward and evolving just as he hopes sanada will, yukimura watching sanada leave and accepting that the paths that lead to growth might also lead them away from each other, ‘LET ME SET YOU FREE’ like yukimura is aware that his overbearing influence on sanada has not been entirely to sanada’s benefit and is trying to set it right
in the voice message attached to this song yukimura thanks sanada for leading rikkai in his absence and for always putting the club first, so that’s why he’s telling sanada to now live for himself and not for rikkai
i know this is obvious but ofc the captain/team synecdoche means that by dedicating himself to rikkai sanada was dedicating himself to yukimura
i really really love the power dynamics in this song and how yukimura is making a concerted effort to give sanada a chance to approach him as an equal on some kind of field because even though obviously i adore deeply unbalanced power dynamics i think reciprocity or at least stability is important for long-term endgameism and that’s how i want sanayuki to end up!!

kokushoku no aura - sanada genichiro

The wind disappears and time stands still

I roar my Furinkainzanrai

here sanada says うなり声を上げた/’roar’ which is the same phrasing yukimura uses to refer to sanada in line 4 of for yourself
i really like the idea of natural and physical forces making way for yukimura and sanada… clash of two immense superpowers this shit is next level!

Into the domain of the merciless gods

I’ll go, to meet only you

firstly, sanada literally elevating yukimura into a higher plane of divinity There Are No Words…
‘to meet only you’ YUKIMURA IS SANADA’S TRUEST AND GREATEST RIVAL FULL STOPPPPP
😭😭😭
only yukimura and nobody else!! no one else is on that level for sanada!!!

Precisely because of our friendship, I really want to win

Even my strength is robbed against my will

I Won’t Hold Back, Because It’s You sanada edition
this part referring to yukimura inducing yips in sanada

The binding of my heart bursts open

There is the Muga no Kyochi

I swear my love to the ongoing dream

Break the invisible wall

[head in hands] i…
honestly idk what to say about this other than Sanada Genichiro Why Are You Gay!!!!!
心の箍/’binding of my heart’ comes from the idea of like emotion suppressed by reason or conscience, the way a barrel is bound/held together by hoops, but with enough pressure it’ll burst open. and that truly is like the way sanada tries to be very strict and focused but he’s actually really emotional and passionate and it all comes flooding out at moments of high intensity. SUCH AS playing a high stakes match against your childhood friend and captain
not really sure what the reference to muga is about since neither yukimura nor sanada enter muga during their match, but they are in the select group of highrankers who have achieved muga. when sanada enters muga during his match against ryoma at kanto finals he says 我が心すでに空なり, 空なるが故に無/‘my heart is already empty. it is empty because there is nothing’ (or something like that… it’s from the buddhist heart sutra i don’t really get it but it’s about entering a state of self actualisation) so possibly this is related to the previous line about his heart overflowing
HE REALLY DOES SAY LOVE AS IN 愛. seriously 絶えず夢に愛に誓う this line makes me so fucking insane like the loyalty, the ONGOING DREAM which he built WITH YUKIMURA like i don’t think it’s a coincidence how much yukimura gets associated with the concept of dreams (his character songs, the lotus eater machine dreams yukimura’s superpower can induce, etccc) so pledging love to the dream = pledging love to… yukimura... this is so o<--<

If one day we look back and think

We're at this point now because of that day

That day is today, isn't it?

Shake it off

sanada recognising that this match is a vital turning point in both of their journeys
'shake it off' in the sense of like cutting yourself free. We Don’t Need Things Like Restraint…

Raising up high

Kindling with the sun

Awakening my potential

Opens a reserve beyond my underlying strength

Come and see for yourself

sanada inviting yukimura to match him at full power this is why i believe that if yukimura and sanada don’t often play each other it’s not because sanada is the unwilling one

Why is it that whenever I become stronger during a fight,

it's because you are there

You Are Gay. You Are

It reminds me of the dream

again with the dream motifs
rikkai’s third consecutive championship has no blind spots T__T

Precisely because our determination is our courage

Even despair and fear

are not the end of the world

i think this part is about yukimura’s illness… the despair and fear that yukimura felt experiencing his body’s gradual deterioration and sanada’s unqualified faith (rikkai’s unqualified faith) that yukimura would recover, hence the implementation of the law of absolute victory, we’ll make sure to win and keep winning until you come back to us and everything can go back to normal. and on the flipside sanada in the anime seeming convinced that if he lost at kanto finals yukimura might actually die in his operation. but sanada really did believe in yukimura even when yukimura was having trouble believing in himself. and even if sanada did not really understand what yukimura was going through

Glory spills over

When light is on on the verge of disappearing

I offer my all to the gods

here we go again with the themes of god/worshipper king/knight leader/second-in-command etc etc also as an aside every time i remember that yukimura and sanada’s nicknames of ‘child of god’ and ‘emperor’ no church in the wild starts playing in my head lol… what’s a king to a god what’s a god to a non-believer (ryoma)
and ofc sanada supporting yukimura through the darkest and most difficult period of his life TT__TT

The wind rages and time moves

nothing tinhatty to say here specifically but nice callback to the first line

On the other side of despair is the continuation of the dream

OK. this part. in the chorus sanada says 絶えず夢/‘taezu yume’ to refer to an ongoing dream, but here he specifically says 夢の続き/‘yume no tsuzuki’ which i definitely think is a deliberate choice of phrasing because yukimura has TWO songs titled yume no tsuzuki
yume no tsuzuki is about yukimura’s sadness and fear and loneliness during his hospitalisation, yume no tsuzuki ii shifts focus more towards yukimura’s post-recovery reclamation of self, though still kind of depressing as hell… lots of stuff about reaching out to touch mirages and wanting to go back to how things used to be and the desperate weight of ambition
sanada’s use of the phrase is persistently optimistic. the continuation of the dream is this bright ideal to hold onto, this shining hope, the light at the end of the tunnel he can throw his entire self into working towards. for yukimura it’s a lot more ambivalent, and understandably so considering he nearly died before its realisation. it’s possible the dream could continue even without him there and he doesn’t want that to happen, because it’s HIS dream. in shinteni when yukimura experiences yips himself he thinks ‘i believe that my victories go hand in hand with an appropriate amount of anguish’—his love for tennis, for the continuation of the dream, is inextricably bound up with the painful gruelling recovery process he underwent, and he can’t separate out the burning drive for victory that propelled him through PT from however he might have felt or been able to feel about tennis before. so it’s a difficult concept for yukimura to face, even as sanada shoulders it so readily
another example is that one of yukimura’s iconic shinteni lines is 夢の続きはゆっくり見るといいよ。。。一人でね/‘you can keep leisurely watching the continuation of your dream… by yourself’ which he says after he defeats a highschooler and plunges him so deeply into yips he enters a lotus eater machine dream where he believes YUKIMURA is the one afflicted by yips and losing, when in reality the highschooler is lying insensate and powerless on the ground. massive slay of a line and massive slay of a match but also clearly not a positively inflected use of yume no tsuzuki, you know?
anyway! i really like the attention to detail in this reference to yukimura’s song/s as well as what it implies about their ideological differences that they aren’t even really able to perceive yet, except in the moments where they clash and it all comes to light

The binding of my heart bursts open

There is the Muga no Kyochi

I swear my love to the ongoing dream

Break the invisible wall

If one day we look back and think

We're at this point now because of that day

That day is today, isn't it?

Shake it off

Stand up in order to fight

same lyrics as the first chorus with an additional ending line, presumably an exhortation to both yukimura and himself. once again: I Won’t Hold Back, Because It’s You!
立ち上がれ can mean ‘stand up’ or ‘recover’
this song is very exhausting for me to look at because it’s SOOOOO emotionally transparent… for yourself isn’t so blatantly heart-on-sleeve declaration of love and fealty, kokushoku no aura really is straight up a love song 😥😐

無我の境地: CHARACTER SONG LYRIC TINHATTERYの極み

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