tropes are so good tho

[rhodochrosite]

going to go through some exemplars of my favourite tropes, this is pretty much just a multifandom fic rec

TROPE: lotus eater machine dream
WORK: beautiful dreamer - saco
THOUGHTS: my favourite trope of all time :') did i make this whole post so i could discuss this doujin in depth? basically yeah. it is about a lotus eater dream amuro experiences where the black org doesn't exist and all his friends are alive and he has a cute pet dog and akai is a coworker in the metropolitan police instead of the fbi. tbh even this doujin isn't totally perfect, i think amuro should have had more of a crisis over his perfect dream reality including akai as his lover as a matter of fact because he hadn't come to terms with the complicated nature of his feelings for akai yet but here he just rolls with it pretty quickly. i wanted more dealing with the emotional fallout from the sudden and forced unrepression!! like having to confront the incontrovertible evidence that deep down he is in love with the guy he thinks he hates enough to kill would surely be deeply destabilising. but i loveddd how much more fucked up he got over seeing hagiwara and matsuda again, his shocked face + the closeup on his eyes tearing up soooooo getting like the way hagimatsu are like ?? hey why are you crying? <- I DIED. AND WHEN HE SEES SCOTCH AGAIN........

i do think the rationalisation of It's Just A Dream So I Don't Have To Deal With Akai E No Kuso Deka Kanjou Right Now is in character though, and also the way that amuro's unease at dream akai's actions which he perceives as out-of-character builds through the story until akai straight up proposes to him and tells him they should both quit their jobs and live happily and safely together and this is the final straw that causes him to freak out so bad he decides he needs to leave the dream. which is really a less overt manifestation of the emotional fallout i wanted more directly because like... this is the wish fulfilment akai that his mind invented!! his heart of hearts wants an akai that loves him back and is kind to him and is also really good at cooking but when he gets it he's like What The Fuck, partly because he tries to avoid vulnerability in desire at all costs, and partly because he knows it's not real and it feels like a simultaneous betrayal of his duty in the waking world and also of akai. because it's like, akai is not that good at cooking, akai doesn't treat him like he's weak and defenseless, akai understands that amuro's loyalty is to his work first and foremost and would never tell amuro to give that up. i think this is the real killing part, the point at which amuro realises he can't stay in this dream and he has to go back to the real world and he asks scotch to show him the way back but turns out scotch is the form in which his desire to stay in his perfect world has manifested...

the part where scotch is like why do you want to leave? this world has everything you ever wanted, you could be happy forever here. IS SO FUCKED UP:

AMURO: i want to return to my original world. i want to know how to get home
AMURO: please... hiro
SCOTCH: why?
AMURO: hiro...!?
SCOTCH: even though this world has me in it...?
SCOTCH: not just me--matsuda and hagiwara and date are all also here...?
SCOTCH: and, taking the form of your desires, akai shuichi too
SCOTCH: all of this, is it not what you see in your dreams every night


SCOTCH: there's no black organisation here
SCOTCH: so rye, bourbon, and scotch all never existed
SCOTCH: not a single thing that could break your heart will happen
SCOTCH: you can do what you like, when you like
SCOTCH: you even have a dog
SCOTCH: no more stressful lonely nights--
AMURO: hi,ro...
SCOTCH: hey, zero
AMURO: hiro!
SCOTCH: isn't this good?
AMURO: stop...
SCOTCH: isn't this what you've always wanted?

and amuro almost folds, because it's scotch, but datehagimatsu rescue him by smashing scotch in the head with a baseball bat and pulling amuro away. and amuro is like wtf are we just going to leave hiro there?!? and hagiwara says, don't be stupid. if it's hiromitsu then he'll always be with you. <- I DIED AGAIN. and also when matsuda's like, you are seriously wayyyy too weak to hiromitsu's face. and like. the terrible process having to let go one more time of scotch who he loves so much and the rest of his friends, and also final boss akai who he has to confront one last time and return the ring to him before he can leave this world. but of course amuro chooses duty over love which is the most fundamental trait of his character, he will always devote himself to his ideals more than anything else, and no matter how beautiful the dream is it's only a dream.

i say this every time i talk about this doujin but also the fact that real akai loves amuro even more than dream akai who was specifically created to fulfil amuro's secret wish for akai's love is SOOOOOOO fucked up... like the sheer depth of akai's actual love is something amuro literally just does not comprehend at all. kanki2k describes silver bullet protectiveness towards their love interests as not coming from a belief that ran/amuro is weak and incapable of defending themselves, but because shinichi/akai wants to protect the person he likes, and i think that distinction is what this doujin is getting at--like that's what dream akai gets wrong. it's not that akai doesn't trust in amuro's ability to take care of himself, he just wants to be able to take care of amuro (which amuro misinterprets as akai looking down on him so he is constantly mad and pressed about akai not viewing him as an equal but akai literally does think very highly of amuro's abilities). but i really like that once amuro returns to the real world it's a really hopeful ending where akai was staying at his hospital bed the whole time waiting for him to wake up and he and akai seem to be on good terms and will probably become lovers soon. like the lotus eater dream dragged me through every human emotion so it's important to me that it's a happy ending even though it's not that realistic like i have a weak heart ok i needed the win for my ship. :')


TROPE: person speaks to ghost/hallucination/dream of a dead loved one
WORK: Watch the Roots - lionpyh
THOUGHTS: this fic is one of my all time fave fics ever in general for sheer epic beauty of prose and story concept and haptics but the scene starting with “Send her to me,” said Vriska. in particular has stuck with me for probably almost 10 years. it's vriska speaking to the ghost of terezi, who in this au was working for the empire against vriska until she kamikaze'd her ship for vriska's sake and died. perfect balance of snippy jokes banter with the severe terror and old grief and Wait It's All Love? underpinning everything they say because vriska did and does love terezi even though she is vriska who puts herself first always and terezi did betray her ideals and die for vriska even though she is terezi who believes in the integrity of the system always. like vriska keeps trying to be cool about it but her desperation keeps slipping out through the cracks and Terezi Knows. and the way that this is the last time they will ever be able to speak to each other... and they both know it! and then terezi kisses vriska and then suddenly stabs her in the eye as her parting gift!!! like what could be better than random vicious infliction of violence despite/because of love on top of the base trope. and the injury is permanent and will always stay with vriska even though terezi has moved on. also the way terezi isn't actually named in the narration until the very end of the scene got me sooo bad T_T this is the gold standard i aspire to when i write about grief and memory.


TROPE: memory fuckery
WORK: in error/inheritance - heartdyed
THOUGHTS: amnesia as a trope landmines me 9 times out of 10 so i've called this memory fuckery even though it's really also about memory loss but like... intentional? like i think that amnesia stories tend to focus more on like relationship struggles in the face of involuntary memory loss and then head into landmine territory if the non-amnesiac half of the ship is taking advantage of the amnesia premise to lie to the other one about the nature of their relationship and this is supposed to be cute and romantic but i'm kind of more interested in the memory aspect itself and like artificially induced memory loss for a specific reason separate from the romance. which is what this fic is sooooo good for... it's an au where reiji is on academia's side, so he wiped shun's memory to brainwash him into becoming his loyal right hand man and an academia soldier who can be sent out to kill shun's former xyz comrades.

i really like that the question of shun's feelings about reiji is not directly tied to the memory loss, like they're dating(?) but reiji erased shun's memories for a greater cause which obviously impacts their relationship but only as a side effect... the extremely unbalanced power dynamics i ate delicious. it's so good that shun doesn't know how deeply reiji interfered in his memories but he does know that despite how much he dislikes reiji, reiji is just not the kind of guy who would bother incepting false feelings into shun. the main plot reveal is that reiji intends to destroy academia from the inside which will necessitate destroying himself as well and he is willing to do any level of terrible acts to achieve his vision of a just and good world, and shun is basically collateral in that vision. i hesitate to call it love but i think it is... like deeply fucked up and undercut by prioritisation of ideals and utilitarian considerations but despite everything it's still love, it's just not enough. but also it is, because even after finding out about the memory wipe shun gets why reiji did it and ultimately agrees with the end goal so like. he has no choice but to keep going. the fact that the memory wipe was kind of for shun's sake in the first place + reiji wanted shun to regain his memories all along... PEOPLE DIED!!

also this fic has the best serena of all time and it isn't even actually serena, it's RURI [tails_gets_trolled.png] the Surely It Is A Privilege To Approach The End Still Believing In Something so perfect. but i think it's so interesting that even though "serena" is clearly unhappy with academia and resentful on shun's behalf of what reiji's done to him, reiji hasn't just brainwashed her into compliance too. and it's so true that reiji has a dangerously soft spot for serena verging on self-sabotage no matter what. but the shunsere/shunruri is soooooooo fucking insane the tense rivalristic coworkerisms as academia's twin aces but also how shun is just aware enough to realise that serena is incongruously looking out for him even as she seems to hate him even as she seems to expect more out of him even as he feels that they're the same. it's so heartbreaking when serena flips back into ruri after shun realises she's been ruri all along and not serena, but shun does not think he is capable anymore of being the brother she loved so much she became someone else and betrayed all her ideals to rescue.

like on one hand serena/ruri's sense of self is so unwavering because she never lost sight of her hope in the future even while she had to murder her own people for her cover, but shun, despite apparently staying the same person, no longer has any idea who he is, and is almost fearful and resentful of ruri's belief in him. but also in the end it doesn't even matter because he will be destroyed when reiji destroys everything. so it's kind of a like, if a tree falls and nobody is around to hear it does it make a sound? type situation. reiji thinks no, serena thinks yes, and shun thinks there's no point thinking about the question. anyway this is my compromiseshipping sacred text (even though it's actually just hostageshipping) and my favourite yugioh fic ever T_T 




ok. well i was going to discuss more tropes but i ran out of steam so maybe i will continue this in a sequel someday 👍