rhodochrosite | Entries tagged with p: talk

going to go through some exemplars of my favourite tropes, this is pretty much just a multifandom fic rec

( wait it's all love... again )

quick review of all the perfumes i've used before by guy who doesn't know how to describe smells. basically i love sweet candy fruity(not citrus) girly type smells and i hate everything else. and i love anything that reminds me of artificial colourings and flavourings.

( average desserts enjoyer )

why was everyone in gundam seed / destiny shouting in pain every episode - ysa

i think this is kind of like the most relentlessly depressing anime ive ever seen which is not saying that much because i havent seen that much anime but my face has nonstop been like 😦 - me

( you and i cannot die yet. )

my fic and dw plans for the foreseeable future... i am basically a full time dreamwidth poster at this stage but i promise i am trying not to let my ao3 accounts die.

( overly ambitious as always )

last month i temporarily lost my grip on reality and bought 15 doujinshi off tora, 12 of which were for a ship i had not actually met yet at the time but i'm glad i invested early because ummmm [REDACTED] [REDACTED] and now i get the task of stretching my literacy to breaking point trying to read them. i will be summarising + reviewing them in batches... i kind of wanted to scanlate all of these tbh but there are literally hundreds of pages here and i'm not that insane (yet?) but i will try to scanlate the highlights at least. sorry in advance about my really bad scanning and cleaning and typesetting i literally only have my phone and ms paint.

now i have like 2 or 3 more posts specifically on the topic planned but firstly i want to say that i have never been as insanely baited by a ship in my life as i have just been by akam. the last time i got this gotten was compromiseshipping which i literally invented myself with the express purpose of catering precisely to my own tastes but i am now receiving directly from canon FOR FREE. perfect 1 x 0 dynamics only exist!!!!!!!

( image heavy! )

i mentioned in my <t/b criteria post> that my ideal 1 x 0 dynamic is "hostageshipping aka proud/tsundere/resentful bottom is reluctant and embarrassed to admit to what they want and has to be forcibly unrepressed by magnanimous but fully in control top who knows exactly what the bottom wants. and there are power struggles in vain or for plausible deniability reasons" and i wanted to elaborate on that by providing some case studies. this is specifically about 1s and 0s (ie dynamics that i think are sexy) not my favourite ships necessarily. but anyway here is some further elaboration on my ultimate 1 x 0 ship HOSTAGESHIPPING aka zerofalcon aka reiji/shun from yugioh arc v:

the contextual gist of hostageshipping is like... what if you were the son of the guy who sent an army to invade my home dimension / massacre everyone / kidnap my sister so i hunted you down across dimensions intending to take you hostage to trade for my sister but you offered to strike a deal where i work for you while you assemble your own army to strike back at your dad and essentially i became the hostage instead. cue absolutely insane power dynamics. the only problem is that not even hostageshipping fully lives up to the hostageshipping print for reasons i will outline shortly so the perfect 1 x 0 dynamic doesn't actually exist in my knowledge (YET...?)

also obligatory link to my all-time magnum opus from 2017 <compromiseshipping manifesto> which explains everything in more detail (so so much detail)

HOSTAGESHIPPING BLUEPRINT

IDEAL 0 TRAITS

wants to kill the 1
- importantly, is unable to kill the 1, though not for lack of trying
strong sense of pride and independence, very stubborn
repressed
prickly, tsundere, probably a bitch (at least to the 1, may be nice to other people)
- actually it's really funny if they ARE nice to other people but just like extremely a bitch towards the 1 specifically
super competitive and petty about it
competent and proud of their skill
- which is why it's even more frustrating that the 1 is stronger than them
a lot of pent-up anger that doesn't get expressed either because they're repressed or there's some situational factors that prevent them from doing so (eg sense of professionalism, agreement to cooperate)
picky / fussy / otherwise particular or detail oriented
regularly gets injured / beaten up / bloody
desperate but trying not to look like it or otherwise good at hiding it
generally has like massively intense emotions but sublimated to varying degrees of success

IDEAL 1 TRAITS

cool, levelheaded, difficult to faze
confident and self-assured
control issues manifest in the form of magnanimity
- they are so secure in having the upper hand that they can afford to give gifts/concessions/leeway to others (on their terms ofc)
- indulgent but like controllingly
patient and slow to anger, able to handle the 0's moods
stronger, higher ranked, more powerful, older, taller than the 0
megalomaniac asshole (may still be nice)
possessive but exhibitionist streak
generous in manipulative and dubcon way
- i saw a tweet from a jfan joking that the S in SM stands for service and suddenly i understood everything... the energy is "i want to give you what you want, even if you don't know or want to admit that you want it, AND/OR what you want is for me to be the one who wants it instead of you"
- if that makes sense
like just really generous overall. like virgo venus leo mars style
probably the killer / subtype thereof

IDEAL DYNAMIC

no reverse, obviously
extremely fixed power dynamic despite constant and futile attempts from the 0 to subvert it
- but they don't ACTUALLY want to subvert it they just think they do
0 has strong haterism towards 1, 1 finds this cute and charming and will probably tease 0 about it
- like this: 1-❤-><-💢-0
- the haterism should have both ideological elements and personal elements. and also have parts that are justifiable and parts that are just super petty
- one-sided rivalry is so good and funny to me i love the 0 going all out trying to defeat/kill/etc the 1 but the 1 barely registering them as a threat because they are objectively stronger
unnegotiated bdsm and especially d/s elements
it's about the 0 maintaining plausible deniability that they Don't Want This by semi-performatively semi-genuinely struggling or fighting back in a situation they know they can't win so they can be "forced" into submission without having to endure the damage to their pride caused by willingly giving in or the humiliation of admitting to wanting anything. all of which the 1 is fully aware of but happy to indulge (with some teasing)
- this is a big part of why i like strength/power/ability to determine top/bottom positioning because like... if the 0 can easily overpower the 1 there's no more plausible deniability??
- forcible unrepression is so good. intricate rituals...

the original hostageshipping: reiji/shun (yugioh arc v)

ways in which hostageshipping is perfect

absolutely no reverse!!!!
extremely extremely skewed power dynamic where reiji completely has the upper hand in skill, rank hierarchy, bargaining power, resources available, duelling strength, ability......
shun wants to kill reiji so bad first in a war enemy way and then in a personal haterism way but he can't because he agreed to play by reiji's rules in order to save his sister so all he can do is seethe with rage while reluctantly obeying reiji's commands
- every time shun wants to go off on his own to do something (like HELP HIS DYING BEST FRIEND) reiji coolly shuts him down and shun is soooo pissed about having to roll over but he does anyway
shun literally put himself in this position lmfao like due to picking the lesser of two evils since reiji is ostensibly on the same side of the war as him but it's still really funny that he actively chose to give reiji this insane amount of power over him no matter how much he hates it
reiji memorywiped some other LDS students who duelled shun before his recruitment, so shun knows that there's always the threat that he will be memorywiped into compliance if he steps out of line
- memory is especially important to shun because he's lost everything (best friend, sister, hometown) and memory is literally all he has left so this is a very effective implied threat
reiji is very generous in condescending ways seemingly calculated to rub salt into the wound re: reiji's control of him:
- he gifts shun brand new raidraptor pendulum cards he's designed to perfectly synergise with shun's existing deck in order to let him access the powerful new pendulum summoning technique... to highlight that his control of shun can extend even over his duelling
- he sets the duel field during shun's tournament duels to a replica of shun's now-destroyed hometown... to push him to the brink of a grief/rage-fuelled breakdown and make him duel more intensely
- he installs shun as his functional second-in-command... to put him in situations where shun will be forced to acquiesce to reiji's orders in front of other people

ways in which hostageshipping is not perfect

reiji is shorter and younger than shun... height and age isn't that important to me compared to other things but IDEALLY i like my 1s to be larger and older than 0s
hostageshipping is not my favourite ship for either of them, which is peregrineshipping (shun/serena) for shun and prodigyshipping (reiji/serena) for reiji. because SERENA is my onepick and actually i care most about her dynamics with shun and reiji so hostageshipping is really just one arm of compromiseshipping to me. because serena should be there
shun is not really a 0 anyway because peregrineshipping is shun/serena in that order. even if reiji/shun no reverse serenaright no reverse is even more non-negotiable in my heart
and shun barely fits any of my ideal 0 criteria anyway, it's just that his desperation + fury + suffering stats are SO off the charts that the rest of it doesn't matter that much
admittedly i haven't thought much about pendulumshipping but if i apply my default criteria of shounen protags top and shounen rivals bottom then reiji, being the arc v rival, is not really a 1 either
hostageshipping is actually like umm 0.7 x 0.1
serena is not there

OTHER EXAMPLES

jaemin/renjun (nct dream)

PROS

actually 1 x 0 shipping. TO ME
my favourite agenda for both of them and my 2pickshipping
size difference in the right direction
beautiful visual couple of perfectface x perfectface i love to look at them
i really like renjun and i really like jaemin
this exists
i wish i could explain why jmrn has such a grip on me that i needed two extra ao3 accounts to contain the overflow but i literally don't know why. except that i really like both of them
WILD CARD: renjun's paper dollisms add a fun extra angle which is that at some point he might flip from mock violence into total docility

CONS

they literally don't know each other like that. they are coworkers (neutral positive) which as you guys know i am extremely enthusiastic about but it is not conducive to the topic at hand
i made up this version of their dynamic in my head it doesn't exist. or if it did that was back in like 2019
also there's no actual killing intent, understandably, since they are real people, but it does put them at a disadvantage compared to the other ships on this list where the 0 for real is trying to murder the 1
everyone on ao3 (except for my sexy friends) is wrong about them, including me (my views do not represent my views)
i'm allergic to thinking about them for reasons beyond my comprehension i'm literally like WE CAN'T LET THEM KNOW WE L*KE JMRN also i sometimes get seriously haterised for no reason. well for reasons but the reasons might just be seeing the word r3nm1n. Yes i am jaemin renjun otp all time #1 rpf agenda shipper yes i have r3nm1n muted i exist. anyway that makes it hard for me to have up-to-date thoughts because i don't see them on my tl, which narratively mirrors the way that they do not have up-to-date thoughts about each other

atobe/shishido (prince of tennis)

PROS

actually 1 x 0 shipping
size difference in the right direction
atobe is fully aware that shishido has been haterised about him since first sight and it doesn't bother him at all because atobe is indisputably stronger than shishido
shishido is literally functioning as atobe's unofficial third-in-command like atobe has installed him in his executive cabinet despite shishido wanting to kill him because atobe the generous trusts shishido's objective ability and is willing to overlook shishido's murderous intent in the interests of achieving their shared goal of hyotei victory
and when it comes down to it, shishido IS completely loyal to atobe too he just doesn't like to admit it
WILD CARD: libraman4libramanshipping is inherently hysterically funny

CONS

far from my favourite agenda for either of them (oshitari or ryoma for atobe, ootori for shishido)
necessarily precluded after ootori/shishido doubles formation due to their overwhelmingly truelove monogamous marriage and atobe being a generous king who is graciously permitting his subjects to honeymoon outside his kingdom
atobe is kind of more interested in tezuka like that but tezuka is Go Girl Give Us Nothing-ing him. and also in germany

akai/amuro (detective conan)

feels like cheating to put them on here when i haven't even met one half of this ship yet BUT i have it on good authority that they are perfectly positioned to laser snipe me from the international space station so i want to mention them in advance. i'll probably come back at fill out this section in uhhh 3 months when i unlock them for real. actually i'm going to do a preliminary pros and cons, i keep telling myself that fanart of akai fucking amuro is not lore but well it kind of is. TO ME

PROS

actually 1 x 0 shipping. NOMINATIVELY DETERMINISTIC 1 X 0 SHIPPING!!
size and age difference (i think?) in the right direction
beautiful visual couple who i love to see
amuro wants to kill akai so bad he refuses to believe akai can even be physically killed by anyone else (this is the extent of my canon knowledge at this point)
gonna assume they hit most of the criteria on my list because mich and hwa keep 2828'ing at me every time i say anything about it 🧐
WILD CARD: identity theft is the most romantic thing in the world!!!

CONS

i might straight up die when i finally fully understand what is going on here like are they more hostageshipping than hostageshipping??

misc

i would loveeeee to see this dynamic with a het ship (boy 1 x girl 0 to be clear) but despite my pretty extensive knowledge of ya supernatural het romance fiction i can't think of any examples
- this is my vision of alec/renesmee from twilight but they literally do not exist in canon...
vermouth is perfectly positioned to be the 1 in question but the only person with that kind of haterism towards her is jodie?? who i don't think is a 0 they would be more like 1 x 0.4-0.6... and ran is not this type of 0. and bourbon is not this type of 0 for vermouth specifically*

* i don't think vermouth and bourbon are fucking anyway, i think it is platonic workplace power dynamics 1 + 0 mutually beneficial mentorship... bourbon is like vermouth's fancy handbag or poisoned ring, vermouth just loves to antagonise people and flirt with people and flirt with people to antagonise them or to antagonise other people... not to go off on huge tangent but i think the idea of vermouth leveraging bourbon against rye by making it seem like she and bourbon are fucking because bourbon is sweet with vermouth but viciously hateristic towards rye is really funny. she doesn't even dislike rye like that (he's not HER silver bullet) she just likes to stir up drama for fun

** if r63 bourbon i think she and vermouth WOULD be fucking though

*** this is all completely baseless speculation since i haven't met the bourbon in question but fanart of bourbon and vermouth looking blonde and beautiful and expensive and killeristic together can be lore too

**** i think vermouth is less interested in brat taming and more interested in 1. Submission anyway

also this isn't the only type of 1 x 0 dynamic i enjoy it's just my favourite, i am also open to this type of 1 x 0s who don't need to be railroaded into submission (jeno, ran, mori, carly, etc)

tenirabi does contact events so infrequently i forget all my grinding strategies in between and have to redevelop them by trial and error every time which is so annoying i am going to put it in writing now:

GENERAL PLAYSTYLE
1. collect at least 1200 puzzle pieces
2. trigger contact off event song:

a. if regular contact (2 hr time limit) -> play normal song
b. if special contact (30 min time limit) -> play event song

3. repeat step 2 until puzzle piece quantity falls <1200
4. grind normal songs until puzzle piece quantity reaches minimum level again

NOTES

only use main event song to trigger contacts!!
- can use other event songs 3-5 times each until 3x booster is unlocked, then main event song only
remember to level up the point bonus card via self-training boards for the score boost next event + awaken all event related cards for extra score boost
OK to use daily free pull on event gacha even if the cards are ugly as score boost applies regardless of whether cards are in a team
if SSS challenge running concurrently, they can be grinded (ground?) as normal songs but DO NOT count as contactable songs
must be on at least 200k + 3x booster unlocked by day 2
- aim for 120k - 150k / day after 3x booster unlocked
current maxed out team lineups:
- GREEN: best teams HIYOSHI leader + 3rd anniversary RYOGA / 3rd anniversary YUKIMURA / flowering valentines KAIDO / sleeping JIROU -> 74543 / 89908
- RED: game of future YUKIMURA leader + best teams KIKUMARU / nichijou SHIRAISHI / nichijou LILIADENT / nichijou KUROBANE -> 73311 / 88393
  - can rotate leader btwn yuki / kiku / lili / bane
  - NB lili has great->sss conversion superpower, switch him to leader for autoplay grinding
- BLUE: game of future ATOBE leader + best teams TANISHI / nichijou KITE / best teams CHINEN / flowering valentines OSHITARI -> 76916 / 92547
- ALL: 3rd anniversary YUKIMURA leader + best teams KIKUMARU / game of future ATOBE / flowering valentines OSHITARI / flowering valentines KAIDO -> 77445 / 93403

this is a follow-up to my original killer post outlining some of the killer spinoffs and subtypes to more accurately describe the nuances within the field of killerism because it really is that serious.

first of all i want to formally retract my categorisation of haibara as The Killer, she is more accurately an almost-killer i.e. someone who had the potential to become The Killer but did not end up following the path due to a moral crisis (extremely cringe fail by the black organisation, how do you fuck up indoctrinating someone you literally raised from birth). the REAL killer in conan is ofc vermouth, who i had not properly met yet at the time i made the post. i understand the error of my ways now tho, nobody is more killer than vermouth.

also, some other killers i forgot to put in my first post: gilgamesh (fate), rokudo mukuro (khr), yagami light (death note), koon aguero agnis (tower of god)

( more people who are gonna come and get you )

"AHHH DISGUSTING! UNBELIEVABLE! BANHISU SHIPPERS SHOULD DIE! DIE! DIE!!!!"

rt myself: Me when i turn into a malevolent grudge spirit hellbent on killing everyone who follows the incorrect t/b order for my ships

腐女子除霊師オサム is a cute and funny parody oneshot manga that briefly went viral on jtwitter a while ago about a couple of fujoshi exorcists who must battle the vengeful spirit of a fujoshi seeking to slaughter everyone who ships her otp in the opposite order to her. and unironically that is me. i am the fujoshis coming back from the dead as the manifestation of pure evil fuelled by my hatred for people who ship my ships in the wrong order. anyway this is an extremely ill-adjusted post about my very strict top/bottom preferences, i am sorry to my switch rights activist friends who i respect but that will never be me:

( 1800 i love stable societies )

currently i'm watching detective conan with beloved moch and it is soooo much fun (guy who loves spies, crime procedurals, people who are actually other people, and ongoing extensive shonen franchises from the 90s) and i might make a haptics and proxemics post once i've met all the relevant cast members. how can an anime have 1000+ episodes... but anyway here is a rundown of my favourite episodes from the first half! this is technically a belated media review post for july since well 500 episodes of anime i was not consuming anything else. or technically 490 eps because ep 491 is the start of a 14 ep arc and if i wait until we finish watching that then this will be my august media review post. general spoilers i guess:

( really really really long )

really feeling inspired by niz's haterism so here is a list of things in fic that i dislike the most. i do hate pretty much everything that isn't the 5 things i like and even if it's something i like i can easily hate the execution so if you enjoy something in this post then i respect it but i am politely averting my eyes. yes i've written a bunch of these but that is because i love to self-oppress and test my abilities. i also hate many other things but these are the main sources:

( so much hate in this world and i'm gonna add to it )

my life has not been the same ever since i saw <THIS VIDEO> and then <THIS TWEET> so in this post i will go through some of my favourite Killers per my personal use of the term as it has evolved. not all people who kill are The Killer, it has a very specific set of connotations to me including: wealth, charm, beauty, severe psychological issues, beauty, generosity, manipulativeness, reliance on persona, association with predator animals, being a top, general sociopathy, and also beauty. it's also a gender neutral term but since i exclusively read trashy supernatural het romance young adult fiction i lack examples of girls who are The Killer (suggestions welcome). i AM basically using The Killer as shorthand for a general type of ya love interest which you will probably recognise instantly if you have even a passing familiarity with the genre.

anyway here are The Killers in question, i thought this would be a list of fictional characters who remind me of jaemin but not all of them ended up on here:

( THE KILLER is everywhere )

elaborating on this post for cc anon!

here are 2 passages i grabbed from some recent fics, i'll try to point out some examples of what i mentioned in the original post! apologies for the tennis since it's all i've been writing lately, but i hope this is helpful <3

( 🗣 )

i actually consumed non-tennis media this month so i thought i might as well do a review post!!

( i didn't actually do that much but somehow this still managed to be long as fuck )

lately i have found myself typing '[objectively unromantic thing] is the most romantic thing in the universe' way too much so as guy who loves categorisation i am going to try to sort my favourite ship dynamics into types but since i have such incomprehensible taste i don't know how successful this will be. let's find out!

first of all, i will never not pickship and that is a promise everything else is subsidiary to the fact that i love to smash my faves together more than anything. actual canon interaction is 100% optional i will invent the dynamic myself if i have to but truly the vast majority of my otps are my favourite x my second favourite... i'm already so invested in them individually of course i will be invested in them together. also a lot of these categories cross over because everything i like is kind of the same. broadly i have sorted these dynamics into four groups: <power dynamics>, <haterism>, <narrativeshipping>, and <not knowing each other>

( 2pickshipping is so good tho )

well i'm not entirely sure what the point of making this post is given that i achieved........ nothing on my plans for the first half of 2020. but i am not a QUITTER!!! so here are my perhaps foolish plans for the remainder of 2020:

OCTOBER

for the rest of the month i'll probably just keep fucking around in gdocs writing more tennisfic that will never see the light of ao3... i have three main wips that i want to realise (akaryo brazil arc but they're in sydney // 3 times yukimura [redacted] // rikkai x yukimura [redacted 2]) atm but i come up with new agendas and ideas daily so who knows lol. i've mostly come to terms with like never getting ao3 validation ever again but my passion for tennis alone is genuinely enough to sustain me rn so i feel like it's okay :) i'm very happy just putting my visions into words
i might clean up one of the shorter tennisfics i've already written and post it on sulfate? just for rights. maybe tinhetfic

NOVEMBER

revival zero (dream tenipuri au, jaemren(? not totally committed yet), to be posted on pyrophane) - my main passion project, it does not yet have a plot, structure, main agenda or set title (i only know that i really want to use something related to yugioh to enable my grand tennis=yugioh thesis) but i'm super determined to see this through!!! for my target audience of like 1.5. so far it's just a random collection of my favourite tenipuri scenes but dreamified but at least i'm having fun. i expect this will end up around 10k and it's currently at 2.5k so i think giving myself a month to finish will be enough

DECEMBER

yuletide - hopefully i won't have to default this year :'( but given how little else i have going on in terms of wips i don't really have an excuse

that's literally all lol. i've basically given up on all my other nct wips because i don't think they're any good, we'll see whether haikyuu inspiration strikes again before the end of the year... i'm also undergoing my biannual style crisis so ::head in hands:: i'll get through this okay though, not to sound like a cliche but sports anime literally healed my relationship to creativity so i'm still feeling positive about my abilities!!

this is my personal list of things to look out for when i'm trying to guess the identity of anon authors in fests/exchanges etc, i have been applying this since 2016 and it works really well so long as the author is not actively aware of these things and trying to obscure their identity (if you're trying to stay anon you can also purposefully change these things i guess). also requires that the author has other published fic to compare the fic in question against, otherwise good luck lmao. in order (formatting + a/ns interchangeable since formatting is more obvious but a/ns appear first when reading), these are what i check:

FORMATTING
the biggest giveaway imo because people usually have a certain style of formatting fics that they stick to. for example, i always open and end with 7 empty lines of buffer space and i use 7 empty lines as scene breaks. visually it's pretty obvious so it's easy to spot

scene breaks - how do they indicate different scenes? hyphens, tildes, default ao3 scene dividers, empty space (a large amount / a small amount)?
spacing - do they delete the double spaces ao3 inserts between lines if you paste directly from a word processor into rich text editor? do they delete the extra spaces that pop up around italics?
emdashes - how do they use and format them? do they use emdashes (—), endashes (–), hyphens (-), double hyphens (--), etc? what kind of spacing do they do around them eg no spaces, spaces on both sides, spaces on one side only?
spelling - ok not technically formatting but do they use american or british spelling/vocabulary?
punctuation - do they use single or double quotes for dialogue?
- typographic apostrophes and speech marks - less reliable than the above bc it depends on your word processor eg editing directly in the ao3 post work box will give you non-typographic marks, and for some reason typing on gdocs on my mobile gives me non-typographic marks too even though i get typographic marks on my laptop. but some people do all their fics with non-typographic apostrophes/speech marks and some people (me) are very particular about this and replace all non-typographic marks with typographic ones (unless i'm too lazy to bother doing it right away. but it'll annoy me enough on reread that i'll fix it eventually)

AUTHOR'S NOTES
people are usually more informal in a/ns so this can give some handy info especially if you're familiar with how they talk on social media platforms etc. i tend to say the same kind of thing in all my a/ns eg i address my recip in the opening note if it's an exchange fic, i clarify details about the setting such as time period, i thank anyone who helped me with the fic, i include extra content warnings not in the tags. there are exceptions but overall i feel like the tone of my a/ns remains consistent

grammar - do they use proper capitalisation and/or punctuation? this can fluctuate a bit so make sure you have a decent sample space to check against
emojis - do they often use kaomojis or smileys or heart emojis in their a/ns? which ones?
disclaimer - i don't see these around often anymore so it's even more of a giveaway, especially the specific phrasing
betas - do they thank betas? who are those betas? though a lot of people will redact names or abbreviate to initials during the anon period so it's less helpful
inspiration - do they mention songs, poems, other stories etc as inspiration? what are those sources?
epigraph - not technically part of the a/n but usually close to the top so i'll include it. THIS IS SUCH A HUGE GIVEAWAY even just the presence of an epigraph can be super telling. how is the epigraph formatted (line spacing, alignment, author attribution and title)? who is the epigraph from?
end notes - what do they tend to say in end notes eg spoilery content warnings, something about welcoming kudos/comments?

STYLE AND CONTENT
the least reliable indicator bc 1) a lot of people write similar themes 2) in exchanges content will probably be tailored more to the recip's interests than the author's 3) personally i feel like my style is really malleable between fics so i wouldn't even be able to recognise me 4) this is super hard to look for unless you know the author's prose really really well. nonetheless this can work as a like confirmation step after you've narrowed down your guesses using the above, i just wouldn't use it as the primary determinant

fandom - is the fic in a fandom you know the author is in? obviously less applicable for rarer fandoms esp around yuletide. maybe i should rephrase it as the inverse ie if you know the author hates that fandom they probably won't have written for it. process of elimination!
themes - might need some close reading to determine but often even in exchange fics Characteristic Themes will pop up
prose style - if they have a super distinctive style you might be able to tell

okay i titled my fic posting schedule for the second half of 2019 's2' but like whatever this is my journal and we're still in the 2019 financial year... these two things are related somehow ANYWAY. looking at my last post and i love the extremely clear inverse relationship between my ability to stay on track with my fic plans and my level of investment in non kpop media properties... got into promare/fe3h in november and promptly stopped posting kpop fic on main it is just like that sometimes

JANUARY:

haggly holidays (identifying info redacted, to be posted on resentfully) - finished and just waiting for reveals. debuting yet another ao3 account for literally no reason! though i might move it onto pyrophane later i'm not sure, i'm just a bit nervous about the content and don't think it fits on any of my existing side accounts
everything precious we've guarded (fe3h, sylvix, The Reunion post-cf route, to be posted on sulfate) - pt 2 of my beagles route childhood quartet series yes it's just another sylvix paired ending fic i was extremely gotten by the original jpn specifying that they were overjoyed to see each other but felix still couldn't stay with sylvain. i'm having some trouble figuring out sylvain's voicing bc i'm still in no-nonsense ingrid mode but as soon as i work out how to balance stupid humour with starcrossed lovers angst bullshit then it's all over. also gotta work out how felix gets injured in this one since that's the theme of the series
the moment long awaited (fe3h, dimilix, dimitri lives post-cf route au, to be posted on sulfate) - pt 3 of my beagles route childhood quartet series. probably just gonna be porn cause i'm tired of coming up with "plot" or whatever but again i need to work out a premise for dimitri surviving and also what felix's injury du jour will be. I'M TIRED. just want to eat some max hurt min comfort. anticipating the wordcount of each fic to rapidly decrease from pt 1 onwards

FEBRUARY:

gathering wishes (wjsn/everglow, xuanyiren, bbbfest fic, to be posted on resentfully) - i have to learn how to write f/f porn, which i've been saying for the past half a year and i still haven't learned. anyway 2pickfic for intergroup power struggling and toxic rivalry squares
maybe quick rtfbt coda for its 1st birthday? shortly after i posted rtfbt i had the idea of like. career pack doing some dumb teen party game shit during their first night in the arena... spin the ~~bottle~~ sword etc. regain my rarepair creds by having everyone make out with everyone else. then things escalate really quick when jeno gets sponsor gift of [redacted]. but i'm just not sure if nctzens are ready to handle that sort of qhopba you feel

MARCH:

need a 3rd bbbfest fic here so i can actually hit a bingo LOL something for nct i think. cause like... by this point i'll have gone 5 months w/o posting anything on pyrophane lmfao

APRIL:

symmetric difference (nct, jaemjen + side markren, musicians au, to be posted on pyrophane) - I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL FINISH THIS FIC!!!!!

MAY:

change your ways (fe3h, edelgrid, cf route fic ft lysithea, to be posted on sulfate) - i just really want to write 2pick/3pick fic... man for someone who is a blions stan i sure am obsessed with beagles route. this one will probably also be postcanon i haven't really decided what to do yet but i'm sure i'll figure it out. will probably be my fpf equivalent of the canon compliant / ambiguous relationships / light pining tag triptych that is my rpf comfort zone

JUNE:

exam season how exciting. not gonna schedule anything so i have time to catch up on anything i didn't manage to finish earlier / any new agendas i develop. and like... studying and that kind of shit

this feels weirdly unambitious but i think managing to post 4 fics in december irreparably skewed my perception of my own productivity. WHY AM I FORCING MYSELF TO JUGGLE 6 AO3 ACCOUNTS??? WHY AM I DOING THAT TO MYSELF???

anyway other stuff i will maybe work on: renhyuck night world au, jaemjen twilight au, idk i kinda want to write an idolverse superpowers fic for nct but i might work that into bbbfest fic #3, i'm literally running out of wips cause i cleared so many of them last year so i really don't know what i'll be writing in the second half of 2020. maybe i'll get into a new fandom though i hope not...

[for reference see here]

just checking in with myself for accountability purposes lmfao so far i'm mostly on track with my plans. i've posted six fics since july and pretty much the only problem is that i was unexpectedly sidetracked by redacted during september so i've had to push pacrim down to october but it will definitely get done this month!! i'm determined!! anyway revised plan for the rest of the year:

OCTOBER:

ANTITHESIS / SYNTHESIS (nahyuck, pacrim au) - i WILL finish it before it turns 1 year old on october 20 but it just keeps getting longer like at minimum i have 5k left to write i think... it will probably be longer than fractionation but maybe not rtfbt? trying to strike a balance between [enough buildup to emphasise the emotional anguish] and [i am so sick of writing this fic it needs to be over already]. also i'm worried i hyped it up too much and it's going to fall flat lol the quality of writing is not really that great x__x sorry.......

NOVEMBER:

symmetric difference (jaemjen, side markren, musicians au) - moving this one up in priority bc it's like maslow's hierarchy of needs you know the most basic tier is markren getting gaymarried asap. the fic is not even about markren it's actually Jaemin Remembers Things redux #4
it's also scorpio season AND exam season aka procrastinate by writing lots of fic season so i expect my side accounts will make their comebacks lmao

DECEMBER:

yuletide - I GUESS. just realised i'm gonna have to write the whole thing ON MY PHONE while i'm in taiwan/china
inheritor of the light (renhyuck, vampires au) - omg i think i've lost my motivation for this one... i need to reread night world and get reinspired )':

misc stuff i might work on in the meantime: xuanyi/yiren idolverse #### bc deserve, markrenmin fantasy au bc i think i do owe it to them to write something, why do i have literally NO wips anymore???

ggghghghhgh i dont know why my skin has been SO BAD since i came back from gc not even breaking out yet just sooo dry and tight and bumpy which is so weird since usually i have the opposite problem, oily/combination/sensitive skin type ~__~ also ongoing problem with my lips that i still haven't figured out how to fix. basically my entire face stings and im sooo miserable

anyway the point of this post was to record my skincare routine + thoughts on products so i can track progress...

AM:

FOAM CLEANSER: the face shop chia seed cleanser - im trying to phase this out of my routine, it doesnt actively break me out but i think its way too harsh on my skin and i really dont like it T_T i only got it bc i couldnt afford/source better cleansers at the time. i dont trust products that foam too easily and in general i think tfs skincare is not great
VITAMIN C: melano cc anti-spot essence - just started using this, its a very popular serum according to my research so i hope its not breaking me out lmfaoo i havent noticed any change in my skin yet but its early days yet. i really like the applicator, its so easy to control how much im squeezing out and it protects the product from exposure to air
MOISTURISER: cosrx advanced snail all in one cream - pretty decent moisturiser, usually hydrating enough just not lately T__T im almost done with this tub so im not sure whether to get a refill or try a new moisturiser but at least i know this one definitely doesnt break me out
SUNSCREEN: biore uv aqua rich watery essence - really like this, its not greasy or oily at all but every time i buy a new tube biores revamped the formulation so idk... i think my skin agrees the most with the 2019 formula which is lucky, plus it doesnt have the weird smell the 2017 formula did

PM:

OIL CLEANSER: banila clean it zero cleansing balm - LOVE this, i love that its solid so it transports easily and only melts into an oil once you apply it to your face... gentle but thorough. i do wonder if this is the product thats drying me out tho? im often too lazy to double cleanse but ive been going ham on the oil cleanser for the past month so maybe its a delayed reaction... x__x i would be so sad i rly love this product
FOAM CLEANSER: the face shop chia seed cleanser
TONER: the face shop rice ceramide toner - its ok i guess... again i dont think tfs skincare products are very good, i dont really think this is doing anything for my skin but i dont want to put acids directly onto double cleansed skin. im looking for a new hydrating toner (when will heartdrops restock son & park beauty water in the 50ml size so i can test it!!) but i might just end up dropping this step from my routine
ACTIVES: i use bha on weekdays + aha on weekends. i know thats quite often but my skin has been fine with it until this past week... tbh i dont know if theyre doing a lot for my skin, i do notice my skin gets worse when im on holidays and dont bother packing actives but theres a lot of other variables there to consider
- cosrx bha blackhead power liquid - no real thoughts but i feel like this is more effective at combating breakouts than the aha
- cosrx aha 7 whitehead power liquid - no real thoughts either im just trying to use up the bottles and im too scared to drop them from my routine in case my skin dramatically worsens
MASK: various the face shop masks - once every week or so. i bought a bunch of these bc the sales assistant was pretty and talked me into it lmao the avocado one is pretty hydrating. i think the tea tree one doesnt agree with my skin... when im done with these ill probably just go back to lush face masks, i think theyre much better for my skin
MOISTURISER: cosrx advanced snail all in one cream
SPOT TREATMENT: for breakouts
- cosrx acne pimple master patch - LOVE THIS love hydrocolloid bandages... apply over open pimple and it basically excavates it... leaves a little bit of a red mark (scar?) behind but it fades over time + with application of aha lol
- lush grease lightning - for pimples that havent come to a head yet... really nice soothing cooling effect

CURRENTLY PATCH TESTING:

FOAM CLEANSER: hada labo gokujyun super hyaluronic acid foaming wash - patch testing this on my forehead and so far im not actively breaking out which is a good sign i guess, its just that my entire face has such bad skin quality rn i cant really tell but this is apparently one of the safest most gentle cleansers on the market. tbh my concern is that it doesnt give me that 'clean' feeling, it might be TOO gentle and not cleansing enough for me x__x

TESTING SOON:

SERUM: cosrx advanced snail 96 mucin power essence - really hopeful about this one, flare said it dramatically improved the texture of her skin and the cream works on me so fingers crossed this will hydrate my skin nicely
MOISTURISER: cosrx honey ceramide full moisture cream - heard this is thicker + more occlusive and hydrating than the snail cream im using rn so hopefully it will give my skin the hydration it needs rn
TONER/SERUM/MOISTURISER: laneige cream skin refiner - got this on a whim for when my skin is too oily for a heavy cream/gel moisturiser or maybe for morning routine. alternatively i might replace my tfs toner with this. ofc dependent on whether it breaks me out
LIP MASK: laneige lip sleeping mask - kind of extra but like four people have said this is good so im going to get it next time im at sephora or beautyworks cosmetica or something
ACTIVE: krave beauty kale lalu yAHA - god this was $$$... got suckered in by the hype even tho i still have ~30% of my cosrx aha left but im really excited about this, apparently its gentle and helps clear breakouts and is really good for sensitive skin so im hopeful it works on me!!

THINKING ABOUT:

OIL CLEANSER: innisfree green tea cleansing water - im curious about micellar water and id like to try but my current oil cleanser works so well i dont really have any justification to do so
FOAM CLEANSER: cosrx low ph good morning cleanser - i generally trust cosrxs products but their salycic acid cleanser broke me out (it was SOOO drying) so im a little bit scared to try
FOAM CLEANSER: krave beauty matcha hemp hydrating cleanser - i am not immune to hype!!!
SERUM: krave beauty great barrier relief - i am not immune to hype x2!!!!
TONER: son & park beauty water - recced by an irl who has amazing skin
ACTIVE: the ordinary - i dont even know where to start since to has so many products id have to do more research but im kind of eye emoji...

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